Hey everyone!!! To everyone reading this how ya doing?? It looks like its going to be a white Christmas for us. Not sure about everyone else but for us it sure is. 

For anyone who reads this what is or was your All time favorite memory of Christmas??

Well, growing up mine was on Christmas eve, my parents and I would drive to my grandma's house. After dinner we had this whole ordeal we would go through. My dad has his chair he would sit in every year and at a certain time he would tell us kids to go upstairs to look for Santa and his reindeer and then all of a sudden he would yell and we would come running down the stairs because he would say that he thought he saw him on the front lawn. Sure enough that's where he was. lol.. Then there was a special chair in the same spot every year and Santa would come in and say the same exact thing year after year. 

For years I believed in the big guy, until I was like 12 or 13, lol and thats how I kept it for my daughter and up until last year my daughter still somewhat believed in him too!! It was awesome. But, back to the story!!

He would come in and sit down and we would go up to him all excited and take turns handing out presents from his big red bag. When all the presents were done, we would take turns getting our pictures taken and out the door he would go. Right away, us kids would go running up the stairs to see if we could see him and the reindeer take off from the roof of the house or somewhere close to there. Year after year we looked but never did see anything.

Shortly after we opened the rest of the presents under Grandma's Christmas tree, we would pack up the car and head back home to set out cookies and milk for Santa, carrots for Rudolph and the other reindeer and the infamous letter to Santa. With hopes he would stop at my house and write me back each and every year. I did that same tradition with J each and every year until last year and she believed it to the T, It was awesome. 

Then on Christmas Day, mom would wake us up with her home cooked breakfast and after several times of bugging her to open presents before we ate, and getting yelled at for it, I finally gave up and just ate breakfast...lol.. Then we opened presents and spent a bit of time together and then it was mom and me to do whatever, usually grocery shopping and dad would visit his friend up the street for the afternoon. Mom and I would also take a trip around to several houses with mom's baked goods, another tradition we had. 

Then when I was old enough to realize Santa was really whoever played him that year at Grandmas, I also learned of the "ins and outs", and the behind the scenes of the making of Santa, I would be the one soon after to get Santa ready. You know the make-up, the fluffing of the pillow, messing of his hair just right. To see the looks on the kids faces as he walked in made it all worth wild. To know that it was all made possible by me!!

Then, came along the time that my daughter started getting old enough to understand Santa and be the one to run up to him and hand out the presents and the look on her face as he came through the door. When he would say her name, it was all just priceless!! To hear her say on Christmas Day, "Momma, can we open presents now?" Again Priceless!!! Now I have D who sat on Santa's lap perfectly, it was AWESOME!! We got the best picture of the two girls, with the exception of J wearing gym shoes...lol..I can't wait til she gets old enough to understand what Santa is all about and what presents are, then it will be interesting!!!

Then times come to an abrupt stop, and people change, people cause others who they thought were family cause that all to end for whatever reason, family tradition for over 50 years because of whatever reason, reasons better left unmentioned.

Now, things have changed of course, people pass on, family gets smaller but little did I know a couple years just how small my family really would get. En though it broke my heart the time was due, J needed to know the truth. She needed to know the truth about Santa, while she was going around school defending his honor...lol...While we broke down and confirmed her otherwise stern innocence to the fact that she was on the fence as well that he was real but also she had curiosities that he wasn't too!! Figuring that it really was time to tell her the truth before more people at school made fun of her, the truth came out...SANTA ISN'T REAL!!! I know, how many hearts did I break!!!

Funny thing was, when she found out her uncle was Santa a couple years in a row, she was upset that he played Santa. Didn't understand why she was upset but she is the age she is and I guess Ill never understand it!! I also informed her that now she is a big girl, she has keep the secret from her sister. After we said that to her, it was a whole different story and it was funny how her mood changed and then she was okay with the fact that Santa wasn't real anymore.

Now, I have started our own family tradition, due to the fact that my Aunt has  completely changed since my grandma passed away or rather after the Christmas of 2010. We all went down for Christmas at Lisa and Chaz's December of 2010 but then after that is when it was like she completely flipped sh*t!! So now, its small but its real family getting together and its nice!!! Its like my Aunts personality completely changed for some reason and no one knows why, I mean I have my suspisions but I will leave them to my own thoughts, but she just is not a very nice person anymore, for lack of better words and we will leave it at that...lol...For some reason she feels the need to look down on to me for several reasons as well as support me with all the things Ive gone through health wise, or the fact that she isnt the least bit happy that Ive come as far as I have and that I was awarded Disability. In fact, she has even said to several people that she feels I don't deserve it. This is a woman, growing up that I looked up to. I guess people do change over time and with age.

In fact, we have changed all of our holidays and its only my father and brother, my girls and myself. Nice and cosey. Just like at Thanksgiving...I made the main part of dinner and my brother and dad brought up the fixins. So for Christmas, Cookies are done...Check!...Shopping is done...Check!!..Now the only thing is my brother has to work that morning which isn't a big problem so they are going to leave as soon as he gets home. We will eat dinner at normal dinner time, open presents and still have time to relax before it gets too late for them to drive home, considering its a 2 hour drive for them...

Now, since I have rambled on...What is your Favorite Childhood Christmas Memory...Please do tell...We would love to hear, Even if its little or big...

Later Taterz~~

Me~~

Hey Ya'll, Hows everyone doing? Well, I am doing great. Just got home from J's dads house. She is staying the night there tonight. He asked her to spend the night after we were there celebrating her birthday as well as her sister Rs'. He made his taco's and they got a cake for the two girls, the two birthdays 3 and 13. I think its rather cool to think that each year its going to be both the same numbers of course  yet there is 10 years difference. While J played Xbox with her father for majority of the visit that we were there, D and R were having a ball. They absolutely hit it off and just played their little hearts out. Then there's the little cat they call "Monster", who actually got along with the girls and D was so gentle with her and was so cute with. After the way I've seen her with Cbass, I thought for sure there was going to be a problem for poor little Monster but low and behold D was so gentle and careful and it was like Monster knew that D was not the same little girl that is normally at the house like R, so Monster never went off on D and clawed or hissed at D. They were so cute. At one point in time, they took turns play swatting each other and then D put down her bottle and started clapping as if hoping that Monster would return the favor and do the same. There was several times that D laid down on her belly by Monster's bed and was petting her back and Monster was enjoying it. Too cute, I must say.

We pulled out the cake and both girls J & R sat down to make a wish and blow out their candles and we sang "Happy Birthday", R plugged her ears and we dished out the cake. Of course I took off D's shirt and put her in the high chair, too many times that I learned my lesson with her and messy things that now I know better. Sure enough, was I ever so right,     she enjoyed her cake way too much. Thats ok because she had fun and that's what is important. She had cake everywhere and I do mean everywhere. D LOVES her cake FOR SURE !!! lol...I will add pictures later of her eating...or rather I mean wearing the cake...lol..

On the way home we got to talking about a couple different things and a topic came up and it was a very interesting point was made and I thought about it and you know what I thought, I need to blog about it because its something that well, we just cant do anymore, like we did when we were kids in the 90's. If anyone has ever heard the song by Bucky Covington, "A Different World", It talks about how life was basically when I was a kid. I remember growing up we would play outside til it was dark and didn't have to worry about strangers like now a days. The rule was come home, do homework, and then go play til dark. Everyone from the block played at the end of the subdivision and everyone's parents knew where we were at and never worried. Now we have to worry and its sad. Life in the 90's were great and its sad that it cant be like it was back then, now we have to worry who lives down the road when our kids are outside playing or who our kids play with and who house our kids go to. When we were kids our parents seem to just know somehow. lol. I guess its come to a point now that we have to know, we cant just sit back and assume everyone is good people. The minute we start assuming everyone is good people is when someone is going to be the bad one out of the mix unfortunately. Sadly enough to say. 

Okay so enough of the rambling of the bad thoughts for today...lol..Well, I guess I am done for today and off to make more of my Christmas cookies, now that I was able to locate my mixer. I was looking and looking for days for my mixer and it was like someone took and was no where to be found in the basement for days. So today I went down there to look for a pair of these boots/shoes that I really wanted to wear today and now I cant find those but low and behold guess what little ole me finds today....tada...My mixer rears its pretty little head out for me and now I can whip out batches and batches of cookies like no tomorrow...wooohooo....yay me!!!!

Later Taterz,
Me!!!

So, its been awhile since I've blogged and I do apologize but its been a very busy but a very stressful time for me. I have been restlessling with many different things lately. I have been going through many different things that I really didnt want to express here but I being a single mother raising two beautiful girls, young girls and girls that are very, well I guess smart in the sense as they see everything going on around them. I have been dealing or rather struggling with my own issues of depression and bipolar and fighting to keep up with the everyday doings of motherhood. I know it shouldn't be that hard. 

What is so hard about getting up everyday, get J off to school, get the D up and feed her, play with her and do whatever needs to be done at the time until she is ready for her afternoon nap. When she goes down for her nap, that should be the time I get my stuff done, like the house work etc. When she gets up feed her lunch and by that time J should be home from school and its time to find out what happened at school and get J to get her chores started and by this time it is time for me to get dinner started. Once this is getting going we eat and I  then I clean up and get D ready for her bath and bedtime and then its Mom and J's time or Mom's time and J's time to do whatever needs to get finished like mom does homework or just veg out and J does her own thing...which mind you is a-o-k...LOL...and now it probably time for J to take her shower and then its J bedtime...Now its surely moms time to do whatever....The day is finally over....Yay!!!!!....

Sure....on paper or rather computer seems simple and easy but for some reason to get it to my mind it is so hard to compute that it is simple and I have major anxiety about it. Even now I am starting to freak out and have an anxiety attack...That simple and Im starting to sweat, heart is starting to race....God what is wrong with me...Someone please If you read this, please tell me what is wrong with me that a simple task like I have wrote about gets me all freaked out....Even trying to plan a simple meal gets me all freaked out. 

My mom, bless her heart, now this is such an emotion topic that I can only talk slightly about but she could whip together a meal no problem, she knew each morning what she was going to make for dinner that night without a problem. She was wonder woman. Later on I will go into detail about my mom...Which I have to because it will help me deal with her, She passed away many years ago and I have yet to deal with it. Sad isnt it...Well, I guess Im going to go because I have to calm myself down somehow and right now this isnt really helping me and I created this blog to help me deal with my issues not create more..lol...silly  how we think one thing but end up doing the complete opposite.

night all...
kelly...

Well, whats new in the house here...Ive got to get myself into a routine...I know I keep saying it but it sure is hard. Trying to find things to say day after and after. Well, D is an absolute monster. I didnt know what a monster was until she began to walk. Man o man...She is horrible. I hope it doesnt get any worse..Im at my witts end..lol...I love her to death but geez...


J...she is at my witts end too...The latest news...She took my white windows phone to school and someone...rather one of her school friends stole it..We have it narrowed down to one of 3 girls...It really irritates me something fierce too...People these days...it just bugs me to no end..what nerve they have to steal someone else's property..I hope we get it back..

I just dont know what to do with her these days. Grounding her doesn't seem to phase her none, threatening her to military school doesnt seem to phase her...arg....I give up....what to do...what to do...Im scared for the teenage years to come...Help me!!!!


Well, later taterz....
me!!!

Howdy all....Had my doctors appointment. Went okay I guess but I have an MRI scheduled for Friday...wooohooo....Today is my day for injections..yep the day has finally come. I am nervous...I know I shouldnt be worried about the pain because well, Ive gone through the most pain already but hey its in my pelvic region ofcourse im going to be nervous...But hey once its done, its over and done with. Right???


I am at my witts end with J...She is being a total shit and I dont know what to do...I am so close to sending her to Military school, I swear to god...Her indignant attitude, condisending attitude...Its really pissing me off big time...Its been going on for some time and shes been grounded off and on but the other day just topped the cake. I let her go with her friends to this volleyball thing and she told me she would be home at 7. She told me that...So I made dinner and waited for 7 to come around, well...it came and went ok, no problem then the time started going by and no J....Before i knew it, it was 8 and still no J..Im freaken out and finally she comes waltzing in the door. I get Im sorry, I didnt know what time it was. With phone in hand, tho the phone doesnt work, the time still does...No remorse, no NOTHING....So Im done....
I called her father and told him what is going on and hes pissed.

On a brighter note, My birthday is in 5 days....The 6th of November...wooohooo, Yay me!!!

Well, until later....
later taterz
Me!!!

Okie dokie, Im back...I took a little time off...I know I shouldnt but hey life gets a little busy with kids and school and just life in general..It shouldnt since I tried to dedicate myself to my blog and I'm going to once again try my hardest to try first thing in the morning to blog my days business and then end it with what has happend!!!

So, I felt great this morning, woke J up and got her off to school, well, she comes in and says mom its so cold out can you drive me to school. Really??? Ya big chicken...Put your jacket on and walk your happy little butt to school...When it gets really cold out then Ill drive ya to school until then nope, not gonna happen..lol..Is that bad of me?? lol...

So, instead of going back and laying down like I usually do while D is sleeping, knowing that I have a boat load of stuff to do today..I got my happy little butt in the shower, did my hair and makeup...You know..mommy time, me time..and gosh...It felt great...and sure enough just as I got finished...I heard D rambling on and on....It was soo cute...So guess what time it was....D time and lord knows if D doesnt get her time when she wants it...The house isnt a happy house...lol..

So fed and changed her and now not only is D a happy camper but Mom can get her stuff worked on and all is well in the house...lol...

So todays plans are...

• Get the car to Volkswagon and call Enterprise for my rental car....
• Come back home and go to my Doctor appt. for x-rays first on my neck and middle back.
• Then my appt. with my surgeon to find the results from the xrays to find out what if any damage is to my upper spine and what happens next.
• Find out if and when my carpal tunnel surgery is....Nice huh!!!
• Find out they are going to blood work to find out why my L5-S1 vertebrae is fused when the surgeons didnt do, which means my body did it...which means I need answers from my surgeon.
• Get my perscription for physical therapy again.
• Schedule physical therapy...Yay...like Im excited about that one...lol..
• Come home and figure out what Im going to make for dinner...which if anyone knows me well enough that is a chore in itself and a big anxiety issue for me....Dont ask me why but it is...

Hopefully by this time I can finally relax and veg for a little while on the couch while J tells me about her day at school. Oh yeah J is bringing home her little boyfriend for me to meet...Should be quite interesting to say the least.

I did however already this morning get my quiz for class done so now all I have to do is 2 replys and I am finished with class for the day. The only problem is usually no one has really posted anything except for the teacher so Ill probably work on my class reply later tonight when everything has been done and dinner has been finished.

So as for no I think Im gonna say see ya...

Later Taterz....
Me.....

Today was awesome!!!

Well, today was awesome...my little bug drank from a straw for the first time...yay!!! she was so cute and thought she was big and tough...acted like she was a pro...Started my new class...I am so happy and enjoying this class, everyday sociology and its going great, Im gonna say it...so far...I know Im jinxing myself. But oh well...

I had such a productive day and I feel great. Tommorro J has a doctors appointment at 8:40 am for her toe. So I am going to have another productive day as well and just keep the positive energy going. I have too and that is all there is to it.

I made chicken and dumplings for the first time and it turned out great. wooohoo...hehe..I am just so happy right now, and I have felt like this is so long. I didnt take a nap and didnt sleep til noon today. So hopefully when I finally lay my head on the pillow I will be able to sleep through the night.


Well, off to yummy icecream from A&W....wooohoo...

Later taterz,
Me....

Hey everyone...Today was a great start to the weekend. J went to her dads yesterday for the weekend, he came and picked her up. It was nice to sit and talk with him without any fights like we have been having lately. It seems to be like it used to be years ago.

I made dinner last night, Mashed potatoes and my chicken recipe. Yummy dinner it sure was. Even had left overs and D even liked the chicken too! Which suprised me but hey thats just more of a bonus.

D has been such a little devil. Im so not used to it, J was never this much of one, but I was told, If you have a second child they are going to the worst of the two. Boy, oh boy were they right.. but then she looks up and smiles and all you can do is laugh. Gave her a bath last night and right before I took her out she does the unthinkable. Gave me a nice present....Yep, you guessed it. Pooped right in the tub so I ended up having to clean the tub after I got her out. It was so nasty...Thanks alot D...LOL...

So, today I started my new little part time endevour...I started Secret Shopping. It doesnt pay alot but does get me out of the house and it so far since this is my first time, is quite interesting to say the least. I have a couple other ones going at the same time. Like I said I just started and it isnt alot of money but it keeps me busy and gets me out of the house. So Im kind of excited.

Well, off to start my studies, hope you all have a great weekend...

Later taters,
Me....

Well, we took the little one in the other day, she needs glasses..Yep little baby glasses...so we shall see how we are going to get her to keep them on, that should be interesting to say the least...lol..but I think she is going to look way too cute in them...hehe..

So this is my little recap of whats been going on...

We figured out the little porker..hehe...loves her potato chips and watch out because if you have them, she has them now!!!

I finally have a schedule on how to start my day with everything, tho its still a work in progress but its coming along...so here goes...

1. Depending on what time the little one wakes up, usually anytime between 6-8, she has her "Good Morning" cereal by Beechnut, then sometimes a bottle to follow depending on her mood. Followed by a nap, sometimes mom too but I want to start my walks then. Just havent done it.
2. Anywhere from 10-12, when she wakes up then its oatmeal time and she knows it and if she doesnt get her Quaker oatmeal...Watch out cause shes on a rampage...lol..Its just way too cute...
3. I figure now is my time to work for about an hour on my homework.
4. Next, I figure check my email and sit down and work on my blogs.
5. I started to do this mystery shopping thingy, just started to check it out, so I let you all know how it goes.

Now after I finish all that, Its time to clean up the house and do my chores and any time around 2pm is usually when little one lays down for a nap and then around 3:20 J comes home from school.

I decided to start talking to J about how her day was at school and whats new and then its time to figure out what for dinner and start making it.

So, I think Ive got a good plan started, besides the little whom has her own schedule all set pretty much in stone...thats what my day is like usually on a regular basis...

Until later taterz...
Me...

Sorry so blunt and to the point...but hey!!!

So, I know I have deserted my poor little blog here for sometime, I am so sorry. I am back I promise and I am here to say that because I have to change and why do I have to??? Well, not only for myself do I have to change and make life a much better place but also for my girls because they deserve their mommy back and a better mommy than ever before. I am only 34 for Christ sake and I need to start living again. I need to quit thinking about my pains even tho I struggle every day but I need to just fight again like I used to...So I've come up with a game plan...wooohooo...can you tell I've given this a'lot of thought and I'm back kicking and screaming because if I don't I am gonna loose the important people around me and then what or why am I really  fighting for except for myself which, yes is a good reason but its not good enough or I should say its still not a good enough of a reason to fight as hard for. I have spent the last 12 years fighting a really tough battle to keep my head above water and showing everyone that despite the odds and let me tell ya there were a ton of odds at times against me. Yet when the cards were stacked against me and no one was there to fight with me or for me, it was my daughter who stood beside me and fought just as hard to move forward and guess what folks we are here today to say "Screw you to everyone that talked bad or laughed at us, cause we don't need anyone who doesn't believe in the real us." 

These are the things I have come up with 

•  I also realized and it took awhile that there are people still who listen to others and think the worst of me and just want to talk smack of me and to you screw you, cause if you don't want to take the time to get to know me or at least ask me then you don't need to know me.
• If you are going to vent about me to others, don't bother because your just spreading gossip, and I don't need gossipers in my life regardless who you are!!
• If you love me, just love me. That's all I ask. 
• Love me for me regardless of my past, my past is my past not yours!!
• If you have a problem with me or something in my life, talk to me or ask me not someone else!! If I don't want to tell you its up to me to do so either you like it or not.
• I am not an alcoholic, druggie or pill popper (I'm lucky if I remember to take my PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION when I'm suppose too). If you have a problem with what medications I am on, its your problem not mine.
• Unless you have lived a day in my shoes, walked a step in my shoes, I am going to ask nicely, not because I have to but because I want too, DON'T judge me please....just be my friend.
• I don't know your pain and you don't know my pain so don't humor me or say you understand because you don't have any clue as to the amount a pain I go through on a daily basis, so with that said it leads me to next.......
• I will say it again, I have medication I take on a daily basis for my pain (BTW, that I have lived with for 12 years) regardless of what it is, so don't judge me one bit. Just live your own life, and accept me. If you cant leave me be and live your own life.
• Yes, I have a past. It is MY past not yours, I have accepted, acknowledged my wrongs and paid my dues, what should it matter to you. If if doesn't affect your daily life....ignore it and just live your life.....
• Whomever I choose to have in my life at whatever time and period is my choice, not yours. Regardless of has happened in the past is not any of your business and should never be yours. I don't worry about yours don't worry about mine. 
• Lastly, don't pass judgement off on me unless you want me to do it to you!! It seems so easy for some to do so but let me tell your time is about due if you continue so word to wise, if you think your slate is clean of all judgement and your an angel, you have another thing coming.
• They say those who live in glass house shouldn't throw rocks.....well...some love to throw huge boulders....just saying....

With that all being said, I'm sure as I become more clear and level headed, I'm gonna add to that list, and its for my own benefit  I need to clear my head to let all my frustrations out so that I can better myself with my many sicknesses. Well, that's why my therapist tells me. I'm also told to write letters with my thoughts and what has been bothering me to people with the hopes that one day mailing them. I'm not sure if I am at that stage because I'm sure there are a few that might hurt some relationships but I know I need to write them just because feelings having been bottled up for a long time. 

Now, I'm sure there are a lot of you, that's if you read this blog and see this post, that don't think or believe I go through daily struggle's with pain and my back. I'm sure there are a lot of you out there that because of our wonderful world of Facebook see pictures and what not....I'm gonna tell ya first and foremost, and set the book straight (or however you say it)...lol...Just because I post pictures or I have taken a trip here or there doesn't mean squat!!!!...My life quite frankly sucks on daily basis, on the level of pain. The reason I post pictures and took a trip here or there is for either my kids benefit or for my sanity....After a person has two FAILED back surgeries, develops several other conditions because I couldn't find a doctor soon enough to fix my back, I don't sleep much due to pain, cant do regular household chores like I used...so on and so forth..Or quite frankly Live a normal life....Don't you think I might deal with the pain once or twice in awhile to make my kids happy....I am so sick of hearing people say that she doesn't seem like there's anything wrong with here cause shes doing this or that. Better yet, how about finding a doctor that will help you but you cant because of the medication you have to take but you still live in pain daily PAIN PILLS STILL AREN'T STRONG ENOUGH. NOT BECAUSE YOUR ADDICTED TO THEM BUT BECAUSE YOUR PAIN TOLERANCES IS SO FREAK-EN HIGH......Yet people call you a pill popper and doctors look at you as a addict....I don't have to but I will...I'm not an addict and I know this because.....when I got pregnant with  who is a year now, I was on Oxycontin 2 times a day and percocet I could if needed 4 times a day, tho I didn't take the perc's 4 times a day, I quit taking the oxy's and perc's cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant. No side affects after taking them over a year. Now I would say normally for anyone that is addicted to them would die, but I'm lucky enough not to be addicted to either of them. The problem I have is the intense pain without them because of the back surgeries not working. Though when I was pregnant I did take a percocet daily because it was worse on the baby if you are in so much pain, too hard on the baby... (you can google it if you don't believe me) Besides that, I'm to the point now, if you want to call me a pill popper without knowing me or talk about me to others like people do, then go ahead if it makes you feel better because I just done with you and I don't need you in my life. I'm 34 and all I want are people that are going to understand what I go through a daily basis and support me because its difficult for right now and if you cant understand and your going to judge me than just walk away and do it now rather than later...

Okay....well, with all that said...woooshhh...I feel a little better...my own form of therapy...hehehe....well, it might seem harsh to some but it needed to be said and well there ya go folks its done, out in the open for the world to read and I'm not ashamed...I've spent too much of my life being ashamed for the choices or decisions I've made and I just cant do it anymore...New chapter in my life...Peace and harmony.....

Until, later on....take it easy and Love all....

Later Taterz

~~Me~~Im beginning to get find my muchness again!!!

So today I attempted to go for my injections for my hip but because I'm still under the weather with this horrible cold, this push them back until November 1st. Ugh...I'm sooo dreading them..I know they will help me feel better. well, at least I'm hoping they will, but I am not looking forward to the pain that comes first before the relief. Now, I'm starting to have pain between my shoulder blades, but I'm hoping its just from sleeping funny and not from my lower back being messed up for so many years but they are going to do x-rays and we shall see from there. Can only hope for the best, so they say...lol...


Went, yesterday to the local hair salon and got my hair cut and styled...something that has been needed for so long and the girl, Sarah, did an awesome job. Hair with Flair, I must say is an awesome place and they always do great work. If your in Manitowoc and need your hair done...that's def. the place to go..lol...I needed it for 2 reasons....I needed for myself for one and the other, well, its been since I had my surgery that I had a hair cut and it was getting so straggly that it was horrible looking and just bringing me down so bad. I'm starting this new overhaul on myself and its taking sometime to get underway but slowly but surely I'm gonna get back to the old me and Ill be happy. That's why I started another blog and its all about me getting back to my old self and it sure has been a difficult 2 years or so of my life, between finding out the demons inside of me that I didn't know where there and just dealing with life on a whole new playing field and by that I mean being disabled. Being disabled sure does play games with your mind and play havoc with your body and such that I never thought would. Its horrible. I thought looking back, I figured "oh its gonna be great I get to stay home with the girls, not have to work and I can get all the things accomplished that I've been wanting to do but just haven't had the time to do so." Wrong, wrong, wrong. Sometimes I wish I could go back to work. I haven't nearly gotten half the things accomplished I wanted to, but I do like being home with the girls, but on the flip side it has gotten so bad that there's times I've slept until 5. Okay, so enough of this down in the dumps blah, blah, blah stuff...lol..

J, again woke up late...I over slept...bad mommy...lolol...but shes got my cold again..we just keep passing it around to each other, it just never fails..lol..I must say I am not liking this Algebra class I started...I cant even get passed the first question...I know I am in trouble and I am on the first week of class..ut oh...lol...

Well, I'm gonna leave and visit my other blog and catch up on that one for awhile since I've been lagging on that one big time. Until later, be good all...

later taterz,
Me~~~

Okay, so time to get back into my blogging routine...as well, as get some visitors to read my blog on a daily basis..hmmm how do I do such a thing. Well, if you Google my blog you will find me so hopefully people will find me soon cause I am lonely...LOL... Sorry, I have been slacking on my blogging duties but life has just gotten in the way big time. But im here to change that one. 

Well, today I went to my first university meeting, it felt great to get out of the house and socialize with others that were doing the same and going to school, to which I am hoping to be enrolled in January as a full time student...Yay me!!!

Its kinda funny, lately J has been saying over and over "I'm getting up at 6 am for school" and Ill ask her if she wants me to wake her at 6 and she sternly says to me nope I've got my alarm set and ill get up myself. Well, what do you all think has been happening the past 3, count them 1,2,3 mornings...lolol...the first 2 mornings I woke her up and well this morning I didn't even hear my 7 am alarm go off but I got woken up by J saying "mom, mom...can you call school and tell them I'm gonna be 5 minutes late???...please..." all in a panic...Let me ask anyone who might read this...Is it bad, me being a stay at home mom that I'm not getting her up and making sure shes is punctual for school being a 7th grader and in Jr. High or is this teaching her a lesson or trying to teach her a lesson for the years to come? Cause I'm kinda struggling with it. I know ultimately it is my responsibility but when she stands there so sternly and basically tells me not to do it almost like OK fine, miss smarty pants...lol...but where or when does it end that she needs to know that mom isn't going be her fall back person and she needs to responsible. I remember back when she was in Jefferson Elementary school and they yelled at me for apologizing for not waking up, meaning its her responsibility not mine. But still I feel bad more so cause I am a stay at home mom and what else is my job but to get her up for school but then again its like she rely on me and I don't want her getting so used to it that when she gets older she cant get up herself. 

As for the pint sized one...She is my little porker...lol..She is and has become my little terror. Recently had to install child proof door thingy's and outlet covers, those of which I never had to do with J. The other night after dinner we were sitting in the living room watching television and out wanders D with my metal vase and her other sippy cup in her mouth like no bodies business. While it was funny I was truly amazed and that was when I realized it was time to child proof everything. Not to mention, we have to keep remembering to put up the gate for the bathroom because someone has this obsession with the toilet and playing in it. I'm sure most kids do but it rather grosses me out and while the toilet is clean, I do have that toilet bowl cleaner stuff in(ya know the blue tide bowl stuff). So I cant imagine its any good for her. haha.. Anyways she is driving me nuts with grabbing things and not to mention....If anyone decides to rent movies from Red box, make sure you don't loose a movie like hmmm I have...(no help from D) because she likes to play with them...but they will charge you a 60.00 charge...I know this because unforgettably it has happened twice. THANKS to my little porker...lolol...

But beyond that, I think that is all for the day...I will be back tomorrow for more thrilling and adventurous news to report...Stay tunes for your local and up to date family fun...lolol... 

Well, this is a start to a great week, first off J got to up early enough to get ready for school but not early enough as I had liked her to be but I guess we have to start somewhere right?..lol..As for D, she slept in longer than she usually does which made it nice for me since my hips were killing me, they still are. I think my pelvis is out of alinement, which sucks cause I either have to deal with it and wait for the darn thing to go back in to place itself or have the chiropractor do it. Which I cant see the chiropractor because of my back. So I in a no win-win situation. 

So, for now the afternoon looks like spending it with D, which she is in a great mood. Looks like some oatmeal for her and some cereal and coffee for me. Obviously catch up on my blogs, get a jump start on my homework (I attend online classes), watch for my personal lawn guy(who is a friend of mine, hehe)  and then J will be home from school, make dinner...and who knows whatelse. 

Jump back on here for a night cap and that was just my day folks..sounds like a fun life for me huh?? 


~~~~Toddles~~~~
Me!!!!

Yay!!! Updates, If your interested, Im back!

Hey!!! Hows everyone doing??? I am doing great!!! Well, I am starting to get back to the old Me again and start enjoying life and doing all the things I have been slacking on big time...Like..hmmm...This wonderful blog..Soooo!!!!

UPDATES!!!!!

 Well, for starters, my baby gurlz....They are fantastic. Pork chop, has now officially been changed to my "Monkey Gurl", tho she still is my little pork chop. We had a little incident that I am so surprised I didn't end up in the hospital for a heart attack. I was doing dishes and I laid her down for her afternoon nap like I always do, her sister of course still sleeping the day away. All of a sudden out of the blue I hear this thud...I go running cause my fears all came to a head as my heart almost came thru my throat with my hands still soapy and all, MY WORST FEAR CAME TRUE...all I see as I round the corner of the bedroom door is this blonde ball of hair and she is screaming....I'm holding back the tears cause I don't want to scare her anymore...So I scoop her up as quick as I possibly could and after about 5 minutes shes called down and I could assess the damages...lol.. Well, luckily all the little DAREDEVIL managed to do is scare the living crap out on not only herself by far but also her momma!! lol... So, I immediately lowered her crib mattress all the way to the lowest setting there is and now she is back to being head level to the top of the crib...I know it will only be a matter of time that my little daredevil decides to try that little stunt again, but for the time being my little blonde monkey is safe and sound. Thank the good lord above. 

That very moment I saw her laying there screaming gave me a huge eye opener to have short live can really be and how much I need to just enjoy the simple things!! I have also started to just thank everyday for the simple things in life as well as the loved ones and close friends I have and I thank the lord everyday for that.

So!!!!!

what else is new, I have started I guess you could say get back into my old routine of my mommy duties..lol..But this time, I went on the internet and found a bunch of recipes. Yes an assortment of them, side dishes, dinner meals, desserts and I put them in a binder and made a calendar for meals for the week and a shopping list of what I need so this way my anxiety stays down and no one is saying "Mom, whats for dinner??" You know that so infamous statement every child asks everyday..lol..I must say kudos to the Kraft website because they are simply awesome. So if you get the chance, check it www.Kraft.com ,I believe is the  address, and you will find everything you could imagine and they are simple things but there are some ones that are simply to die for!!! 

I am sooo sad to report my Babygurl started her 1st day of Jr. High, and I didn't get a picture of it, it was Tuesday and its not funny, but ironic tho...she was late..lol.. And actually I have left it up to her this week to be the big girl she claims she is and get herself up for school...NOPE!!!!...not happening..She has been late more than she has gone to school, so I have a solution to this nice little problem...We are going to get up at 6:30 a.m. and have breakfast and it will be our own little mommy and daughter time and this way she has no problems getting up and then I also can get my posting in and my homework done after she leaves, drink my coffee and get the baby her breakfast in her tummy...Sounds like a great plan...

Well, I think that's about all the updates for right now, Oh one more thing...No moving to Massachusetts like I previously posted, tho I am kinda upset cause it was beautiful there and I loved it, It was way tooo expensive to live. While I would get more in social security benefit, it would all be taken up in rent and that's if we could find a place to get in at a reasonable price. So our next idea is maybe Illinois or I was looking at one other place but Ill let ya'll know that when the time is right...hehehe...Can ya tell I want out of Wisconsin...My time here has been plenty and now its time to move on as they say!!

Laters~~Taters!!!!

~~~~Me~~~~

Wild~N~Crazy Gal

Well, today was better but had the baby was an absolute handful...OMG!!! In to everything...They told me the second one would be a monster and "I said sure I know"..haha...Was I ever wrong...I never believed it would be this intense...lol..She puts everything and anything in her mouth....lol..I'm telling you its scarey. My first one was an absolute angel. So I guess I'm getting paid 3 or 4 times over in the terrible two's side or something. However then she has to look at me this way.......

And all I can do is giggle but I have to remind myself each and every time even tho shes so darn cute and knows it, shes still being naughty...lol..and then she comes up to me and do this....each and every stinking time....

So There ya go whats a mom to do but keep saying to herself "I know shes cute but shes being naughty and she needs to be disciplined, be strong be very strong"...lol...So since you've seen the little one, here my right hand gal, my biggest helper ever. I honestly don't know what i would do without her...

Yep, shes my 12yr old. can ya believe it. Everyone says she looks like me but I don't think so. I love her more than anything, we've been thru so much and or rather Ive put her thru so much and she has been so strong for me, I couldn't have asked for a better girl. Kisses to my girl.

Well Night all,
Hugz~N~Kissez
Kelly

Hey Friends, 

Hows everyone today....Well, today was rough, as much as I dont like to mention it on here, like Ive said it before, I have my bad days and my good ones. Often times my bad ones over run my good ones unfortunately which really sucks because it takes away my time with the girls....sadly enough and today was one of those days...:( To explain a little Ive had two back surgeries that were suppose to help and fix me well....folks to say the least if anything they made it worse...and with for lack of better words mental issues...depression that Ive battling for over 12 years, bi-polar and anxiety and some days migraines, I tend to spend some days in bed for the day. Lot of the time it is for my pain of my back and nerves that just debilitate me and if your not familiar with chronic pain and things like that I don't think you would understand what we go thru but I hope with this blog, More people are more understanding. I am on SSDI and the fact that the word of being disabled has really affected me mentally as much as i try to think of it a positive way, a way that I get to spend more time with my girls but it still affects me negatively and I am truly trying to fight this battle brewing in my head. If you can understand. I had planned to have two different blogs, one that was all about the girls, a more positive one on life and then a seperate one about my daily battles with pain and life but I guess they all go together one way or another and I will try to keep this one as positive as I can but I will warn ya there are going to be days like today that my health takes over. 

So enough about that. Hows everyone else doing, hopefully better than me? I am all new to this so as I get further along I will add pictures and cute little things to perk it up but I am still learning. So please if anyone comes along as has a few pointers please shout out to me...but please don't be rude to me if you don't like it. Well I am off to check other people blogs...spy if you must to see how people perk theirs up and get my own ideas...I want people to visit and come back. I do have a facebook page linked with this but for some reason I cant get it to come up in the search bar...hmmm...and its really driving me nuts...lol..


me!!!

The last couple of days!!!

Well, I know Ive been working on my blog the last couple of days trying new things and just well...simply getting it up and running. Its coming along slowly and I am sure I will still adding things as I go along but I will promise to start updating it more often. 

So, what have we all been up to since I last blogged. Well, hmmm....Took a trip to the wonderful city of Boston and it was by far the best trip in sooo long, I would say. I guess you could say I needed it. I have to say Pork chop is the best road trippin baby to with us. She loved the trip, she was dancin in her carseat, singin along with the tunes, laughing and screaming(out of joy or whatever you want to call it). We decided that after careful planning and some other things that came up for the positive, that it is official we will be Massachusette's residents soon. Other than the good things, just need to start fresh, Babygurl needs to be able to experience things and be able to be in a place that she can grow and learn from. Here in Wisconsin there isn't much to learn from except for cows and cheese. LOL... 

I, for one need a change of pace and a new start. I feel like I am in a rut and since my life cant go back to the way it used to be, I have to start new. I was told to look at it this way, I am carving a new path in my life which is a good way to look at it. I need a new routine and I just lost my way here in Wisconsin, If anyone knows how I feel. I am going to be attending the University of Massachusetts-Boston, I am so excited to be attending an actual campus based school, for most of you who know me all Ive been doing is online college courses so this will definitely be a switch for me and I am so looking forward to it, a little scared but confident of the challenge that awaits me.

Hmmm, What else is new...Oh yeah, I dont like to talk about this on this blog but I am having to search out myself of course again for yet another Spine Specialist. In the last month or so Ive had increasing amount of pain that makes it hard to do the simplest household chores and even give pork chop a bath. Thank the good lord for Babygurl because she is my saving grace. Ive been pushing myself to atleast help out with the dishes and vaccuming ever so often, so atleast I feel like Im mom and Im doing my duties as mom, if you know what i mean. I often feel useless or not needed and it does get me down. So Im hopeing that this Spine doctor can do something for me, christ Ive had 2 back surgeries and you would have thought after those two, Id be better. I mean I can handle daily pain but when it interferes with lifes abilities to do simple tasks then I just cant deal with that or accept it. 

Well, off to get the rest of my homework done and ready for bed, Ive been staying up way too late and Pork chop has been getting up way too early than normal. Right, just my luck...Hey!!! Plus, we have had a guest at the house the last couple of nights, my adopted daughter I guess you could call her..I missed her..shes such a sweetie...We had planned on taking her home tonight but we are gonna keep her another night...She's stuck with us...Its okay cause she loves me!!!!

luvs~N~Hugz!!!!
Me!!!

Facebook page!!

Well, I finally got a little more figured out on linking my facebook page to my blog page, so come visit me at Facebook.com/Angeleyez9911. Still plugging away trying to figure this all out. Thanks for your patience...

Me!!

Hey all, Just wanted to jump and let ya'll know of my new facebook page I have linked to here but Im still working on I will be back with the address..lol..Have to figure that one out. Babygurl wants to get on the computer and Yes I have a paper to write so Im off to do that and let her have computer time....


Have a good evening all...

Me!!!

Today is a NEW day!!!

So as I started to write my blog I noticed I have nicknames for my gurls, so I figured I'd better explain first before I went any further. Since the blog is going to be mostly about my life and my gurlz, anyone else whom I talk about and ofcourse is nicknamed we will take it at that point. 

Now my oldest, who is 12 years old, I have always called her "babygurl". No matter how much I've tried to stop I just couldn't so I decided to stop with trying and go with it...Heck why not, Right!! 

Then when I least expected it...boom...I was pregnant!!! Okay, so this was back New Years of 2011 when I found out and flash forward...August 13th, 2011 this sweet gorgeous bundle of love was born. Let me tell ya I never realized how much love a person can have inside of them and for so many different people as a mother has for others and her children. My not so "Porkchop", "Porkchop", was brought to us. Yes I have a philosophy on this one...Yes...Me...that....hehe..I truly believe because of my health problems mainly my back and that I cant work a normal job that God decided it was time I needed to be a Mommy again. Not saying Im not a mommy right now, but a wee little one mommy. Ya know those kind. And Folks that's what he sent me!!!! Fast Forward...Terrible two's at 10 months...EEK!!!! Thank god for older sisters or I would be pulling my hair out and drinking heavily!!..Ha! Wine that is..

 So I decided last night, well...um...I guess we will just say in the wee hours of this morning that I needed to change some things and what better way and a better time to start...NOW!!..Hehe..I know wow, what a way to start my blog huh. Okay at that very moment, 4 a.m well no silly's, you get it right?

So, after the insomnia wore off and I did get a few hours of sleep, Me and the "Porkchop" as I call her hung out for a couple hours while she made music, sang, beat me up and we looked at pictures on my phone while my oldest, I call her my "babygurl", tho shes not really my "babygurl" anymore, snoozed her summer right away. Shes not your average pre-teen by far. And she's not anything like I or probably anyone who is reading this was at that age years, we will just says years, ago. I can remember being outside until it was dark out and not wanting to be inside even when it was blistering out. Tho at that time my parents didn't have to worry who was lingering outside and around the next block either. So I guess I should be happy she wants to be inside by her little ole momma. Tho, sometimes that girl drives me up a wall and others I forget shes even in the house.

  

SO, back on topic...shew..U will notice throughout my blog I will tend to get side tracked but just bear with me please!!! So I decided to get up and hang out with PC, the lonestar snoozer finally woke up and came to life and decided to change her routine around from showers at night, or rather early morning since summer was here, to the minute she gets up to jump into the shower that way she wasn't just laying around the house all day. Well, it worked and she seems to be in better spirits and more awake. I just have to quit my habit of sleeping all day too. I need to figure out on paper because of my adhd, I have to write everything down, I need some kind of schedule so I can get my blogging in, my homework done on a normal time frame and not sleep the whole day away unless I'm fighting my migraines like I have been. Ugh....So now that you have learned some health issues I have, you will find that's not all of them but Im gonna try and not focus on them here and make this a more positive place except ranting about kids and life. You know the fun thing we adults grow up and look forward too!!! Ha!!

Well, It looks like I should work on my homework and figure out this blog a little more since I am so new to it, I hope you all enjoy it if you come across it and if you do, please come back from day to day. I promise to update it daily and add pictures as well. If you do enjoy reading it please leave me your comments and please add anything that I may do to better it. I don't claim to be anything I am not or anything like that. Plain and simple.  IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT PLEASE JUST LEAVE!!! DON'T LEAVE ANY RUDE OR CRUDE COMMENTS OR INSULTS, like I said this is just my life and this is all something new to me so please just leave if you don't like it.